hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
