Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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