My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
