With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
