People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
