dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
