so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
