david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
