Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
