xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
