I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
