just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
