respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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