Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
