He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
