Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
