Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
