I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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