Your tits are I can't wait for
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
