The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
