We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
