I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
