Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize