Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
