The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
