I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
