We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize