Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize