she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
