Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
vagina is talking i cant
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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