How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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