There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize