I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
