You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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