We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
