i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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