this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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