just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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