I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
