Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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