Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
