he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
