R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
