He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize