yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you will always have a special place in my vag
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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