Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
