Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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