Someone shit on the floor
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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