Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
