were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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