totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
