the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize