oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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