called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
