awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize