Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize