so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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