he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize