THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
