I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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