i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
