worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
