hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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