if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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