just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
