I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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