Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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