Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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