is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
