I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
