He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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