Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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